How to Improve Relationship With Your Relatives: Tips for Everyone
Is there any point in trying to mend relationships with relatives who exhibit toxicity? It would seem that relatives are the closest people, and family is a safe and secure place. But is this always the case? What is the right way to keep distance in the family?
Signs of Toxic Relationships With Relatives
We have such a need for social acceptance and acceptance, good or bad. To fulfill this need, people have learned for centuries in the family.
The family is the social group where relationships are built. Breaking family ties is a great loss. Therefore, it’s difficult to cut off communication with relatives, it’s like denying a part of yourself.
What can be done with toxic kin, and in what situations is breaking off a relationship a good thing? Since childhood we are taught that family ties are sacred. However, relationships with relatives aren’t as easy as winning at slot-mega-mine.com. Many stop communicating with problematic loved ones because they see no other way out. Often this is the only right decision.
Do you suspect a relative of emotional abuse? Consider the following signs:
- You often hear rudeness directed at you.
- You are given advice you did not ask for.
- You hear constant condemnation.
- You realize that you cannot trust those closest to you.
Often toxic people show up in your life when they want something from you, although they usually keep their distance. These relationships between relatives cannot be called healthy and harmonious.
Older family members often believe they are right by default, simply by virtue of being adults. They love to teach the “newcomers” and consider it their duty to make a remark on the rights of the “wise”. In their eyes, you will never become a person equal to them. There are two options: to interrupt communication or ignore the comments. In the second case, distance will still be useful.
How to Improve Relations With Your Loved Ones
What can you do if communication with a relative burdens you? Don’t be silent if you see a manifestation of negativity towards yourself. However, don’t cut corners, it isn’t always a signal of a bad relationship.
With the first manifestations of abusive relationships can be fought. It’s necessary to tell them gently, but confidently, that they should not do this to you. Usually toxic people don’t realize that they hurt and discomfort others. What else can you do to keep your peace of mind?
Designate and Respect Boundaries
Clearly marking your boundaries is a great idea for changing the way you treat yourself. As soon as uncomfortable questions about your personal life, “when kids” and similar motives begin, stop the conversation. Tell them straight out that such conversations are not to your liking. You can make jokes, but without sarcasm.
One of the secrets to healthy adult relationships is a moderate distance. And so that people don’t regularly test your strength, it’s worth pointing out to them a few times where those boundaries are.
Don’t Believe What You’re Told
Don’t take what toxic people say to heart. The best thing to do is to let the baleful comments pass your ears. A helpful practice is to mentally put a barrier between yourself and the harmful person. Imagine his words hitting an imaginary wall and not reaching you. This trick will help deceive your brain.
Don’t take other people’s criticism personally. Critics rely on their limited experience and like to dispense advice without going much deeper into someone else’s life.
Keep Your Distance
Communicate less often and increase your distance. Toxic people thicken the air around them, so around them some people even get physically sick and stuffy. The less time you spend with them, the better – they won’t have time to spoil your mood with tactless behavior.
Let Your Emotions out
Let bad emotions out. Don’t let other people’s bile lodge in you. If you can’t deal directly with relatives, find alternative ways to release energy. Exercise or be creative.
Give Yourself Permission to Leave
Don’t force yourself to be in the midst of toxicity, even if you are a very polite and empathic person. Plan ahead how you will leave the acrimonious company if the situation turns against you. You can come up with a convincing argument in advance to leave the conversation when it heats up.
Bad Relationships in the Family: Whose Responsibility
Bad relationships with relatives are not always someone’s fault. Problems arise not only because of misunderstanding or poor ability to establish a strong connection. Many people don’t need constant contact with relatives – and their choice should be respected. This is no reason to label a person as a hermit or ungrateful.
But we are talking about adults here. Children need contact with their parents and older representatives of the family, they feel bad and afraid when they are alone. Through contact with parents, the child develops and adapts.
Good and benevolent relationships – the basis of family ties and a strong kinship. But a strong bond is formed through a joint effort. Half of the success depends on you, the other half is the responsibility of the other person.
Often you see comments about being wiser, not being offended, being the first to go along, blindly disregarding criticism, and so on. In my opinion, this is fundamentally wrong behavior, especially for yourself.
Wisdom is not about making the other comfortable at a loss to yourself. The principle of a successful person’s life is to break off relations with such people, or at least keep your distance. It doesn’t matter who humiliates and devalues you. It is always bad and unacceptable. Whether it’s your mother, your father, or your great-uncle.
Another aspect: if you are allowing this to happen, then you need to work out why you are allowing others to be toxic to you. You may need to work through your insecurities. You are an adult now, not a child who was once completely dependent on adults.
Treating someone well through force is impossible and even unhealthy. It isn’t fair to yourself. No one has to endure a bad attitude. All this interferes with personal growth, weakens motivation, and alienates you from your own self. What is the point of associating with those who do not support you, thereby dragging you down? You may not realize it, but the bad influence of toxins on someone else’s psyche always has a detrimental effect.
Some parents have narcissistic or psychopathic, abusive siblings. If you can’t see any light in such a relationship, you have to cut those ties. It may partially affect the lineage, but your health and happiness are more important to you.
The Secret of Strong Genealogical Relationships
Several factors are important to consider in order to strengthen family ties. What’s worth paying attention to:
- The goal of establishing your relationship. If you and a relative want to establish strong family ties, you’re on the right track. This approach helps you become a mature person with a sense of intimacy of your own kind. However, if the goal is to make the other person happy, no good will come of it. Only the person himself knows the way to his personal happiness, others have no right to decide for him and impose their values.
- A necessary distance between you. The kind of rapprochement is important, but to a certain extent. Distance is necessary not only in the relationship with your partner, but also with your relatives, despite the blood relationship. Pay attention to how often you communicate and meet, what you talk about, whether you share plans.
Try to maintain a comfortable intimacy for yourself. If you are pushing your limits, it will be read by your intonation, gestures, and rhetoric. When a person is confident, he talks calmly, with moderate gestures. This indicates inner comfort.
If after the complete cessation of contact with the representative of the genus you feel relief, then you did everything right. If you feel resentment and anger after the breakup, it indicates a stagnation in the relationship between members of the same family.
In certain cases, a long interruption of communication with a relative is the norm. If this is the only comfortable option for you, then why not? You get rid of negative feelings, anger, resentment. This is how you open up space for love and gratitude.
Every family and family lineage has its own degree of intimacy. Trespassing between adults and children is a common occurrence. And “children” here can be considered quite adult, mature individuals. A child who has not called his or her grandmother or aunt, who has not congratulated his or her third cousins on their birthdays, and who has not fulfilled other “duties” is an ungrateful child.
In our country, since childhood a person gets used to the fact that his boundaries can be violated, that his opinion and wishes of his relatives cannot be taken into account. And this is bad because most people grow up unable to defend their views and rights. It’s good that this can be corrected, but it will take years and possibly a long therapy to restore one’s boundaries.